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Should You Really Forgive?

There Is A Deadly Disease That Could Be Killing You!

Did you know that unforgiveness is classified in medical books as a disease? Wow, who would have thought to not forgive someone that has wronged you is a disease that the unforgiving person incurs for refusing to forgive. What’s even worse, this disease has been linked to cancer.

According to Dr. Steven Standiford, chief of surgery at the Cancer Treatment Centers of America, refusing to forgive makes people sick and keeps them sick.

Studies show that 61 percent of all cancer patients have unforgiveness issues. They are now using forgiveness therapy to help treat other diseases like cancer.

Other studies showed that when internalizing, suppressing and hanging on to negative emotions, anger and hatred, it creates chronic anxiety. Chronic anxiety then produces excess adrenaline and cortisol, which depletes the production of natural killer cells, which fights cancer in your body giving way to a disease that, takes your life from you.

It is vital to stay away from negative energy.

The effects that negative emotions have and harboring anger, hate, all the negative garbage that you keep inside will eventually destroy you. I know to forgive is easier said than done…However; It is a choice you have to make…Your life depends on it!

The simple definition of Forgive…is to stop feeling anger toward someone who has wronged you and to stop blaming them… It’s not that easy…But to keep it inside of you and to let it stew is giving that person power over your physical being not to mention your spiritual being, your soul.

Jesus said to the disciples…For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:14,15. (NIV)

To forgive was a major thing back when Jesus walked with the disciples. To have eternal life in heaven, you will have to have forgiven those who’ve wronged you. That should be enough in itself to walk in forgiveness.

I hear people all the time say they have forgiven people, they just haven’t forgotten. That sounds good…but what part of what they did have you not forgotten?

When you think about what they did, what do you feel?  Don’t hold a grudge. It affects you more than them.

I realize to forgive and forget is impossible, that is why forgiveness is something we constantly do.

Choose to forgive and let go the emotions that comes with the pain, resentment, and anger. These emotions will destroy you and stay festering deep inside you. Yes, we still remember the offense, and yes, we can learn from it, but to truly forgive, we treat the person as though it never happened.

You may be wondering, do you have to stay in relationship with someone who has wronged you…if you’re in a relationship that is emotionally unhealthy and it always gets the best of you and continues to bring you down?  You have the right to protect yourself or anyone from harm whether emotional or physical. Forgiveness is not staying in an unhealthy environment that brings you to an emotional wreck.

Forgive them from your heart and remove yourself from that unhealthy environment.

The scriptures state in Proverbs… Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm. Proverbs 13:20 (ESV)

Should you forgive? …….Only if you want to live a healthy life.

Remember…Forgiveness is for your health.!!

Conflict Resolution

Conflict is inevitable because of differences in people. It is a part of life. People have different opinions, values, personalities and different needs. We all filter incoming communication and life in a different way. It’s so important that we learn how to manage conflict effectively.

“The root of most conflict is either born out of poor communication or the inability to control one’s emotions or behavior”.                                                                                                                                                          

Conflict frequently happens from lack of information, poor information, no information, misinformation, or not sure what to do with the information. This reflects a communication and behavior problem.

Conflict rarely resolves itself. Conflict resolution is the ability to recognize conflict, understand the nature of conflict, and to be able to bring swift and just resolution to the conflict.(dealt with proactively and properly).

Having conflict with a person may not necessarily end the relationship but how we manage it could. The sooner conflict is dealt with the better. Do not allow conflict to go unresolved. The ability to manage or resolve conflict and the capacity to recognize and understand others will rely on how effective we are in our communication.

To be effective when communicating you will need a combination of skills including verbal and nonverbal communication, engaged listening, managing stress in the moment, and understand your own communication style and those of the person you’re communicating with. Communication styles are often misunderstood and can cause conflict where there really shouldn’t be.

Expect conflict, however, turn it into opportunities for growth and learning. You can recover from conflict and have a stronger healthier relationship. Remember communication is the key to resolve conflict. ~David Murdock